We are in the homestretch of the Snow Shoveling games as the eleventh day comes to a close in Sochi – and what an event it has been.
Diggory Pitts (USA), reigning gold medalist, was taken to the mediwizard tent two days ago to be treated for severe blistering and exhaustion.
“Poor thing, he has nothing left in him. Blisters the size of Galleons,” lamented Healer Herby Planter.
Diggory has single handedly – mostly because he lashed out at fellow competitors for getting near his miniblizzard – shoveled 2,333 punds of snow.
“The problem is it bloody melts the moment he tosses it, don’t it? Big bloody mud hole outside the stadium. ‘Ave to Apparate over it to get out,” remarked flustered spectator Berach Payne.
Though the Blizzard Spell has been cleared away, the melted snow has created a swamp of sorts outside the Firebird Stadium, making it impossible to get in or out without sinking up to your waist. Most have taken to using Hovering Charms since the Apparation of thousands of wizards would cause quite a disturbance to nearby Muggles.
In more exciting news, Arabella Figg, famed childhood guardian of Harry Potter, friend to Albus Dumbledore, and only Squib member of the Order of the Phoenix, has showed up to root on the UK’s Madden Folly.
“Tried to get Argus to come. Poor man still refuses to admit he’s a Squib,” she said when asked about the noted absence of the infamous Hogwarts caretaker, Argus Filch.
When questioned about the recent WETS attempt to block up the games, resulting in the use of the Imperius Curse against Aussie Squib Perrick Ackerman, she didn’t hesitate to say, “Bunch of batty old fools. Deserve a good kick in the bum. If they have such a problem with treatment of Squibs, I have a few litter boxes they can scoop and dishes they can scrub. That would be more helpful than flashy protests.”
Mrs. Figg has proved her presence invaluable to the Squib Games upon suggesting transporting the players up into the mountains where they can be useful and shovel additional snow onto the pile prepared for the Avalanching games on Thursday.
“The point of the game it to be useful. Creating blizzards isn’t useful,” she said.
Upon the suggestion of Apparating to the mountain top, Chetan Chowdhury (India), a fifth generation Squib, refused the mode of transportation in favor of a Muggle form of transport refereed to as a snowmobile. In the end the Snow Shoveling committee got him to see reason and agree to take a pitchfork Portkey up to the deserted area of the mountains where Avalanching will take place. The question we all have is “Will Diggory be well enough to join them?” Stay tuned to find out.
As we move toward Day 12, the standings are as follows:
Diggory Pitts (USA) – 2,333 lbs
Ophelia Pancho (Mexico) – 845 lbs
Madden Folly (UK) – 844 lbs
Chetan Chowdhury (India) – 732 lbs
Perrick Ackerman (Australia) – 730 lbs
Berti Belloni (Italy) – 635 lbs
Fubert Bonheur (France) – Disqualified
Reporting live from the 2014 Wizolympic Games in Sochi, Russia,