Author Archives: Noah

483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 15 Update: Avalanching Finals


Hello, hello! Barnabas Cuffe here again to report to you, dear Prophet subscribers! The last you heard from me was when I relayed the Snowball Fight Tournament, but since my capture and subsequent release from the Pogrebin prison of darkness, the Prophet leadership has offered me a much needed hiatus from my coverage of the Wizolympic games. And yet, I was never one for sitting idle. The show must go on, as they say! To ... Read More »

How I Left MuggleNet and Escaped the Depths of Life Crisis to Find a Startup Company Doing Something Amazing, a Hilarious Web Series, and My Way Back Home (to MuggleNet)


Hey, guys! My name is Noah Fried, and this past summer after graduating from college I left MuggleNet to pursue a career in New York City. And now I’m back. To be honest, I really had no intention of coming back to the site. Don’t get me wrong – I had a blast working at MuggleNet for six years and was proud of the experience. But as fate would have it, a series of events ... Read More »

Wizards Responsible for Muggle Olympics Sabotage Located, Brought to Justice


SOCHI, RUSSIA—Declaring they have finally discovered the culprits behind the now ubiquitous Olympic rings fiasco and a slew of other mysterious mishaps that have occurred at the Muggle Olympics this past week, officials of the Russian Ministry have captured 27-year-old Fillion Brokeworth and 34-year-old Theodore Nott, both of Surrey, London. “We were only trying to have a bit of fun,” lamented Brokeworth, after he was captured trying to sell cookies to unsuspecting guests at the Muggle ... Read More »

483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 6 Update: Snowball Fight Finals


Ginny Weasley here, and what I have to report to you is quite hard to believe. But as per the Daily Prophet’s maxim, I am committed to giving you the news as it is! “You are the superior teams and have rightfully risen above the rest,” the Snowball Fighting judge, Vladimir Golubov, began this morning. The audience at Firebird Stadium seemed to hang on his every word, and he was clearly enjoying the attention. “Iceland ... Read More »

483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 5 Update: Snowball Fight


Ginny Weasley here, reporting from Sochi, Russia, where Day 5 of the Wizolympics is happily underway! I am taking over coverage of the Snowball Fighting Tournament following the strange disappearance of our Editor-in-Chief, Barnabas Cuffe, just yesterday afternoon. Wherever you are Barnaby, we wish you a safe return to us! Needless to say, I never got a chance to watch the preliminary rounds of this event. Besides lending my voice nightly to the Wizarding Wireless ... Read More »

483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 4 Update: Snowball Fight


"Gather round, gather round!" screamed the heavily bearded Russian man who had judged the preliminary round. I had recently learned he was Vladimir Golubov - a two-time Wizolympic champion and dragon tamer. "Last time, you all produced adequate snow forts. The other two teams were cheaters and weaklings. They deserved what the Pogrebin gave them!!" Read More »

483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 3 Update: Snowball Fight


‘Ello again, Daily Prophet subscribers! Barnabuss Cuffe here bringing you coverage directly from the Wizolympics in Sochi, Russia. Today’s report is brought to you by the Nimbus Racing Broom Company. Flying now to a store near you, the Nimbus 2014 is the superior model to all of its predecessors. Not only is it the most exquisitely designed broom of its kind, but it is also the speediest ever produced by wizard hands! Nimbus is excited ... Read More »

Announcing The 483rd ½ Wizolympics: Sochi 2014


Dear readers! It is with great pleasure that I announce the beginning of The Daily Prophet’s coverage of the 483rd ½ Wizolympics in Sochi, Russia! I am Barnabas Cuffe, Editor-in-Chief these past twenty-four years at the Prophet - but I am sure you already knew that, didn’t you? Read More »